July 1847-March 1848

The Collected Letters, Volume 22


JWC TO THOMAS CARLYLE ; 22 September 1847; DOI: 10.1215/lt-18470922-JWC-TC-01; CL 22: 82-83


Wednesday [22 September 1847]

First, Dear, to ease your mind as to the bill—it came safe last night—and the letter—which was more wanted— Then here are two notes for you by today's post— And then—what am I to say next? I have sat ten minutes with pen in hand, wondering if it would be possible to fill up a letter for you, without telling the only thing to be told— But even my pen-a liner-Genius is not for the moment equal to the greatness of the occasion—I am up to nothing today but stating the plain fact in the plainest terms—and besides there is nothing in it now to make you uneasy— You are to know then that ever since I wrote the last letter to you I have had no history “to speak of”—having been confined pretty constantly to bed— When I wrote the last letter I was already ill—in fact I had never felt well from the first day of my return—but at that writing I perceived I was in for some sort of regular illness—I thought at first it was going to be a violent cold—but it has not turned to a cold— I suppose a Dr would call it some sort of bilious or nervous fever— Whatever it has been I have suffered horribly from irritation nausea and languor— —but now I am in the way of getting well again— I am out of bed today and able to write to you as you see— John has been very kind to me since he knew of my illness, which was not till Sunday afternoon— He has come to see me twice a day—and one time staid four hours in my bedroom reading to me &c— I prohibited him from telling you of it—as I did not want you to be kept anxious—but now I am so much better that there is not the slightest occasion for anxiety—and as to your being there and not here, I assure it has been the greatest possible Comfort to me that it so happened— I can be twice as patient and composed I find when there is nobody put about by my being laid up— Had you been here I should have struggled on longer without taking to bed and been in the desperatest haste to get out of it— All the nursing possible has been given me by Anne and Mrs Piper—and the perfect quiet of the house could not have been had on other terms—nor could Anne have had time to attend to me as I required if we had not had the house all to ourselves— So do not be vexed and do not be uneasy— I have no ailment now but weakness and so soon as I can get into the air that will wear off

The only other news of importance is that Mr Baring called here yesterday—with Mr Fleming both on horseback1

They left cards and regrets that I was not visible &c

And now I must stop for this time2

Ever yours /