January-July 1843

The Collected Letters, Volume 16


JWC TO JEANNIE WELSH ; 16 July 1843; DOI: 10.1215/lt-18430716-JWC-JW-01; CL 16: 279


[16 July 1843]

Pins! dearest Babbie—you cannot mean that I should stick common earthly pins in that love of a cushion— I thought it was to lay diamond rings on or something of that sort— I could not find in my heart to bore little holes in it!—and the beautiful cuffs!—take twenty kisses dearest such as imagination can take for the little gleam of sunlight which your letter and gifts shed in upon my most solitary and all too earthquaky Birthday1

—What a difference from the exceptional dinner, and strawberry-feast, and ball of long ago was yesterdays one ill fried whiting—and for company; painters and singing apprentice-boys who begin to drive me mad with their dawdling and stupidity! when the hamper came—as it did in the evening—I considered whether it would not be good sense to break into it at once and drink a bottle of the wine. and rid myself of all sense of the actual in the untried pleasures of being dead-drunk— But one cannot hope to get to the end of one's existence as an indulged only child— All that is behind—behind!—and one must forward—as one can!—

Pray when you write—in case it should be before me—tell my Uncle that I am very “proud of his kindess” as Helen judiciously phrases it—but I will write myself the first quiet hour.— I have a note from Helen this morning2—meant to have come Yesterday I dare say—with little perfume papers—and with the best news of their health and locality— You are all dear children—and so good to me—

But I must not expatiate any at present— My superintendence is very much wanted in the staircase where they are making horrible botching (from the complicacy of the carved work) every time I turn my back— God bless thee Babbie love to Mary and the boys ever your own

Jane Carlyle