TC TO JANE WELSH CARLYLE ; 11 September 1850; DOI: 10.1215/lt-18500911-TC-JWC-01; CL 25: 206-207
TC TO JANE WELSH CARLYLE
Dumfries, 11 Septr, 1850—
My Dear Jeannie,—A single word before leaving this Chaos which I have now (blessed be Heaven) the prospect of getting away from in not many minutes. Woe's me! The kindness of true friends, their very kindness works me misery of which they have no idea! In the gloom of my own imagination, I seem to myself a pitiable man.— Last night I had, in spite of noises and confusions many, a tolerable sleep;—most welcome to me; for on the Monday night here I did not sleep at all. Yesterday was accordingly a day! My poor Mother too is very weak, and there are clothes a-buying, and confusions very many; and no minute can I be left alone to let my sad thoughts settle into sad composure,—but every minute I must talk, talk: God help me! To be dead altogether— But fie, fie, this is very weak, and I am but a spoony to write so! The day is bright, both Mother and I shall be better in the quiet open air; an hour and half with poor Mary, and before sunset we shall be at peace at Scotsbrig again. Tomorrow I will write to you more deliberately. I had no idea I was so sick of heart, and had made such progress towards age and steady dispiritt, till I came here and measured myself agt the old botherations.
In health all are well here, all doing well too, and quiet on their rough stony paths; all with a most true remembrance and reverent regard towards my poor Goody too. Let us be peaceable; let us be patient,—thankful for very many things! I send you Geraldine's Review in the Athenm; which does not amount to anything considerable. Perhaps I shall find something from you at Scotsbrig? Adieu dear Jeannie mine, adieu. / T. Carlyle
(with a steel pen too!)