The Collected Letters, Volume 28


JWC TO KATE STERLING ; 19 November 1853; DOI: 10.1215/lt-18531119-JWC-KS-01; CL 28: 318-319


5 Cheyne Row / Saturday [19 Nov. 1853]

My gracious! What is this about the Capt having “thrown up his guardianship”?1 Is it true? How did come to pass? As you have not written to tell me yourself the wonderful news, I should decline to believe it. only my authority is so good—Darwin, who was told by Snow Wedgwood, who was told by Mrs Maurice.2 Then to be sure Snow is very deaf—she might mistake—at all rates tell me at once how it is— Perhaps you know that whoever was your Keeper it would make no difference for me—that I should be proscribed by the Maurices as much as by the Capt— If [it]3 is possible! I am not to the Maurice's minds I dare say, and all this nonsense of the Capt's may have marked me “dangerous,” to their imaginations. Still with people of good sense and good breeding, one can always hope to overcome prejudices and I have no fear but I shall be able to convince the Maurices in course of time that you have nothing to apprehend from “brave and unfortunate Poles”4 in visiting at my house, and just as little to apprehend from my own “opinions” or “principles” Bah! I could burst out into such a sacred rage over all that cursed humbug! and I fancy what your Father would think of it! But I will have patience—as I have had so long— If the Capt could only understand that I am not on the pinnacle of earthly felicity while he is in the profounds5 but on the contrary that I am always very suffering in my nerves and stomach—always very sorrowful at heart—as others besides him are apt to get with years and losses. He would be ASHAMED to try or to wish to add to my troubles the least hairs breadth— But he thinks only of himself recognises only his own troubles and hence all this dispeace My cold is going but not gone yet—my new servant continues so perfect that I am rather frightened at her— The silent room is the noisiest in the house. Mr C is very much out of sorts—I think as little as possible— In a couple of weeks or so we shall be off to The Grange— I dont care for how long— There I shall at least be out of the “valley of the shadow of” cocks! Love to Lotta and Julia— Your affectionate