TC TO JANE BAILLIE WELSH; 5 June 1824; DOI: 10.1215/lt-18240605-TC-JBW-01; CL 3:75-76.
TC TO JANE BAILLIE WELSH
Moray-street, Saturday, 2 o'clock— [5 June 1824]
I am in the most tremendous hurry but I snatch a moment to send my dearest another farewell. I need not say if I was sad on Thursday to leave you; I have not had a merry hour since then. The image of our walks and conversations, of all that we said and did together is present to my mind with a painful distinctness: I am like a man fallen from the third Heaven down among the meanness of vulgar Earth. Nothing but the hope that our meeting will be early and happy, and that at length we shall meet to part no more forever could make my present situation tolerable. Be true to me and to yourself, my Herzens Liebling [heart's darling], and it will all be well! Our fate may be more enviable than that of millions: God grant we be not disappointed!
The Steam-boat did not sail to-day; had it not been for the sake of common discretion I would have come back to you and staid till Tuesday-night. As it is I am sick of Edinr: my friends are all away; my business is all done; and a fine smack sails to-night at seven—with nothing but Sir Something and two ladies in the cabin. So I depart in preference to waiting till Wednesday. About this day week, I expect to be in London. A letter from Buller was waiting for me: they are not going to leave town for I know not how long. The boys and I are to have lodgings some where in the vicinity, as they propose; and it seems possible enough that I may not visit Looe1 at all. This you will be glad to hear as I am. The moment I am settled, my own dear lassie shall hear from me. I have a letter for Thomas Campbell2 from Brewster, and for various Savan[t]s[.] I will tell you about them in due time.
Here is a Shakspeare, which I only fear will hurt your eyes. If so let it lie upon the drawing-room table, and tell me that you are not reading it. Another copy may easily be had, and I could wish you to read it. You are to read Milton also, when you see good; and the histories regularly. I forgot to mention the Edinr Review, which I have often mentioned already. Your second duty will be performed strictly for my sake. Your third is the most important of any: love me every day better, as I shall assuredly love you.
For your Mother I need not beg of you to be attentive and daughterlike towards her. She and I must yet be better acquainted. It is nothing but a fineness of feeling, which should make us both dearer to each other, that prevents us from already enjoying all the pleasures of an intercourse as frank and cordial as ours will yet be. Assure her of my highest respect and gratitude.
An[d] now my love I must part with you. Much, much of the happiness of my existence depends upon you: but I know in whom I have confided. With a thousand faults in both of us, there is no particle of baseness in the heart of either. Adieu! I press you to my bosom, and pray that God may keep for me, what is more to me than all things else. Farewell my Dearest! I am ever your own,
Do not plague yourself with thinking of me till you hear that I am well and settled